Teaching Nonsense

“Have you seen today’s article in the newspaper?”

“Which one?”

“Oh, some Teutonic thing I picked up outside the Gare Ste. Germaine. The Frankfurter Allgemeine Neublatt, or something like that. The fellow didn’t have Pravda.”

“I didn’t know you read German.”

“I don’t, actually. But it still carries Calvin and Hobbes. Ho, ho! I love that comic.”

“You exasperate me sometimes, my dear Duc. I meant, which article?”

“Oh, my friend pointed it out to me. She was quite distraught. Here it is. The one about the decision of the school board in that state over there.”

“Which state is that?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Some tract of farmland in the middle of nowhere. I believe its major export is tornadoes.”

“My God!”

“Apparently that’s what they believe as well. At least the state’s school board believes it to be so. They want to insure the state’s future generations are free to learn that supernatural forces may cause tornadoes.”

“Supernatural forces?”

“Pixies, sprites, that sort of thing. Except God. They don’t want to introduce religion into the public schools. They draw the line at supernaturalism in the natural science classes.”

“How absolutely reasonable.”

“Yessss . . , quite sage.”

“Well, I wouldn’t be too harsh in my judgment of those poor people. I’m sure they’re doing the best they can. Inbreeding being what it is. Besides, it’s not as though we’re witness to Galileo being dragged before the Inquisition. The students are simply being given the choice to believe in fairy dust rather than evolution. I personally believe strongly in freedom of choice. Besides, who in their right mind would choose to be ignorant?”

“Baby steps, sir. Baby steps. I just feel uncomfortable that the teaching of nonsense should be given the mandate of the state.”

“It wouldn’t be the first time. Also, there is a positive aspect to this story.”

“Which is . . . ?”

“Well, if evolution is merely a theory chances are overwhelmingly good that the virus causing that avian flu which is the rage in all the papers today will most likely not evolve into some deadly strain which can infect humans. See, the state school board has delivered mankind from the irrational fear of an influenza pandemic!”

“Ah, but you forget, my friend. Humankind may yet fall victim to dark and malicious forces which are at work in the universe.”

“As in the last election?”

“Amen.”